ponedeljek, 19. julij 2010

Society is Mental Illness


An American psychologist who lives in Slovenia and has recently read my book said to me: »I think society IS mental illness.«

I was puzzled for a while, but then I asked: »What are mental patients then? The worst cases?«

To my astonishment he replied: »No, they are just people who are more aware of it.«

I answered instinctively: »I'll take this as a compliment.«

Later I gave this conversation more thought. Maybe he was right. Think of paranoia. It's one of the core thinking patterns. We are afraid of getting old, afraid of dying, afraid of being alone. So afraid that whole industries can grow out of it. Think of depression. Most people are so immersed in negative thinking that you have to carefully pick your company, otherwise you get constantly drawn back into negativity, even if you strive for positivity. And the majority of negative thinkers are not even aware of what they are doing.

Thus maybe mental patients did not fall mentally ill in vain. The man said that we are more aware of it. What does it mean? Being aware of the problem is always the first step to the solution. Maybe mental patients who make it through their illness and start thinking positively can help the non-mental-patient-people to step out of their negativity. For honestly speaking the negativity cannot get any worse than it already is. We have hit the rock bottom already. Thus logically it can only get better.

Please send your thoughts on this subject to: bb.bukle@gmail.com

ponedeljek, 05. julij 2010

Bringing Theory into Practice


Some time ago I mentioned in a blog that I affirm regularly: “It is my responsibility HOW to draw a line in a relationship. The reaction of the other person involved is his/her responsibility.”

Today I would like to share with you a story that shows progress in real life due to the upper affirmation:

The other day I tried to draw money from an ATM. I pushed the bank card into the fissure. The ATM did not react. I noticed another fissure just above the one, where my card was stuck. I realized I had pushed the card into the wrong fissure. I tried to pull it out, but it was too deep inside already. I saw a man standing behind me and since he was waiting for me, I figured it would be good for him to get this thing sorted out as soon as possible, so he could use the machine too. I asked him for help. He approached the ATM and could not believe that a woman can be so stupid. I decided to buy tweezers just around the corner and try to grab the card by them. I ran to the shop and bought tweezers. When I came back, the man was angrily waving with my bank card in the air trying to make me feel guilty for having been so stupid. I tried to cheer him up with a joke, but his despair was not repairable. He asked: “Will you be able to do it by yourself now?” I kindly asked him for help, for I was in enough stress already and I did not want to do any more mistakes. He helped me, but did not forget to add an ironic remark that hurt me: “Like I have time for you.” He must have drawn his money while I was buying tweezers, so after having seen my card in the right fissure, he hurried away without saying good-bye.

Then I tried to finally draw the money from the ATM, but on the display there appeared a sentence that I did not fully understand. I was tired and I left with my bank card and no cash. I thought if I sit on a bench nearby and get some rest, maybe later I will be able to try again. When I sat down however, I started crying. I felt like a loser that does not even know how to operate an ATM. On the top of that I could not understand why the man was so angry with me. I even bought tweezers largely on his account so that he would not have to wait too long. On the top of that I made fun of myself in order to cheer him up. Still he showed absolutely no compassion. Since I had gotten to the point of crying, there was no hope for getting my focus back and being able to operate the ATM in a short time. So I went home. On my way home a most remarkable thing happened. I managed to transform my sadness and guilty feeling into anger that I expressed verbally. I did not care if anyone passing by should hear me.

It was a great relief to get the anger out and even to feel it in the first place. If this had happened a year ago, there would not have been any righteous anger whatsoever. I would have only carried this feeling of being a looser inside of me. The progress also showed in the largely decreased amount of time that I needed to process the feelings connected to the unpleasant event. I forgot about the man by the end of the day. If this story had happened a year ago, I would probably have carried the story of my failure in my head for a fortnight.

You can ask me more about the power of affirmations: bb.bukle@gmail.com